Teasing Teasers!!

It was 5 in the evening when the news reached my ears my best friend’s grand mother had kicked the bucket. I was only 8 and that news was like music to my ears. Not because I had wanted it to happen, but I had simply misunderstood the phrase. I thought that nana as we all called her was finally fulfilling her dreams of playing football. She always told me that she wanted to play like becham and kept kicking everything in sight.




Little did I know that the difference between kicking the ball and kicking the bucket was a big one? How one little word can change the whole meaning of something? God bless her soul.



My journey into learning one of the most peculiar languages of all times has been fantastic. The idiot’s English as my teacher’s back in school called it.



The most interesting part of learning this language takes me down memory lane when I first started learning idioms.



An idiom in its simplest definition would mean some words or phrases put together which have no connection to the actual meaning most of the times.

It is to say what you mean but don’t mean what you say.



When my teacher started the class on this subject, I was out of ear shot range and I thought the chapter was about a bunch of idiots, and ever since I have taken every opportunity to tease them.



They say every idiom is food for thought; if the mind could eat what are mouths for??



My friend was very short and she kept telling me she wanted to grow tall, I told her don worry ill keep pulling your legs all the time. She took the joke pretty hard.



I went to the baker and asked him for a dozen of loaves, he gave me 13 loaves instead of 12, and I wondered how his business was doing?



When my mom was making chapattis the other day I saw her flinging the flattened dough from the pan into the fire. Now I know who the idiom out of the frying pan and into the fire is dedicated to.



An evaluator told me the other day that he couldn’t make head nor tail out of my writing, I told him sir that’s obvious that if you didn’t have a body to attach it to.



An actor once said that he always had butterflies in his stomach before he performed, wait a minute I thought he was vegetarian.



A critic once told me that I could only sing, the day pigs could fly, I suggested that day he carry the biggest umbrella, you don’t want them crapping over you.



I always make mistakes when I speak, I excuse myself saying sorry it was a slip of my tongue, but deep down I’m really glad that they don’t make slippers out of tongues.



My dad was planning to retire his assistant because he was over the hill for the job, I told my dad to save the poor soul all the trouble of climbing over the hill and just let him continue his job.



On my birthday last year I felt like a million dollars, thank god I had my trusty security to watch over me.



The salesman who came home selling books told me that he was doing this job just to make ends meet, I told him it took years of practice to become a gymnast, what was he doing with books?



By doing noting your killing precious time, this is the solution to the growing crime rates around the world.



A friend of mine told me that her heart sank because her boy friend had dumped her, I wonder who dumped titanic.



A guy boasted once to me saying that he was the top dog that area, I laughed to myself finally he had realized his status.



When the internet first hit the market, everyone went crazy with surfing the net, I was too scared to purchase it initially I mean I did not want any water to get into my computer.



The other day on the beach when I was talking to some guys, my friend commented that one of them was a stuffed shirt, I told her she was as blind as a bat, he was actually topless.



Making long speeches is not my cup of tea, actually I only drink milk



If you have carefully read between the lines you must be some kind of a genius, I mean I never wrote anything.



Finally idioms were, are and always will be the spice of the English life. Each one of them be it clichéd or rare, will be a cherry on top of the icing. Use them once in a blue moon, learn them by heart, keep them at the tips of your tongue or just go bananas using them, you can never have enough.



It’s about time I wrap it up, so the bottom line would be love them or hate them, we have to use them,

Tease them or treat them, they will never change.

Phew!!! That was piece of cake.